One of the many reasons I am drawn to marathon swimming is because for me each aquatic journey in the ocean is profoundly transformative.  Stretched and pulled in unimaginable ways, I am forever changed.

As my adventure draws to a close, I am flung into a violent torrent of change. Although I have come to expect this in the aftermath of my swims, I am never fully prepared for how unsettling this experience can be. Caught off guard in this upwelling, my anchor (or what I thought was my anchor) has once again dislodged.

Tossed and turned in this struggle, I am adrift. Questions without answers collide with memories of my swim as I am transported through yet another new and unexplored expanse of my Self. 

Trying my best to document and process all the memories of my aquatic journey, these jarring questions startle me. Distracting and uncomfortable, there is no relief. Drifting through the routine of my day-to-day life, there is no chance to stop and set anchor. No opportunity to relish in the joy of stillness and fully comprehend my swim. Life moves on.