All in.

Surrendering myself to the adventure with my body – my vessel - now swathed in this dark abyss, I am completely and utterly vulnerable. The only human in this strange aquatic land, at midnight, 20 miles off the coast of California. The US Coast Guard has issued a Small Craft Advisory and it occurs to me within my first few strokes that I am, indeed, a small craft.

The lunacy of my situation began to take shape in my mind a few hours earlier. As the boat listed side to side and my stomach began to turn, I realized I didn’t have to do this: no one was forcing me to undertake this feat. This wasn’t a hostage situation where I was being held for ransom. I wasn’t escaping an evil tyrant. In fact, I was actually paying a lot of money to be right where I was.  And as if that wasn’t enough, no one could stop me.

Though terrified, I felt so electrifyingly alive.

I later learned by quite literally putting myself “all in,” I opened myself up for a greater intensity of experience. And I was to be duly rewarded.